It Ain’t No Time for Lengthy Speeches

This is down in the swampland, anything goes
It’s alligator bait and the bars don’t close
It’s the real thing down in Louisiana
Did you ever see a Cajun when he really got mad
When he really got trouble like a daughter gone bad
It gets real hot down in Louisiana
The stranger better move it or he’s gonna get killed
He’s gonna have to get it or a shotgun will
It ain’t no time for lengthy speeches
There ain’t no time for lengthy speeches.

Donovan Cowart/Rodney Crowell—Leaving Louisiana in the Broad Daylight

Well, there’s never a good time for lengthy speeches. A passel of words so often misses its mark. The well-chosen few carry more weight. Command more attention.

George Washington offered 135 words in his Second Inaugural remarks. Abraham Lincoln’s address at Gettysburg to commemorate the cemetery and its Union dead consisted of 272 words and lasted two minutes.

If ever we needed to ditch detailed op-ed pieces or straggly long letters-to-the-editor or self-righteous forty minute sermons, now’s the time.

Here, then, are some capsule thoughts from my corner of the world:

Eleven words in the New Testament provide the most salient powerful guidance to all of us in every damn situation—personal, political, international: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Luke 6:31

On Trump: He’s been impeached twice. He ridicules veterans and Gold Star families. He fails to pay his bills. He’s cheats on his wife. And tries to pay off women who complain about his sexual assaults. He’s a vicious bully. He can’t string together a coherent thought. He hasn’t ever abided by either the Old or the New Testament. He’s facing high crimes. He launched an insurrection. We would NOT invite him to Kiwanis in our town. We wouldn’t sit next to him on an airplane if there was ANY other choice. So what the hell???

On Biden: So he’s your grandfather’s age. We used to call that experience. He’s the opposite of arrogant. He’s thoughtful. He cares about other people and this experiment we call democracy. Why not?

To the Democratic National Party and to Montana’s Democratic Committee: Your inaction and fuzzy thinking are as dangerous for the fate of the Nation as Trump. Get a grip. Recruit leaders. Showcase them.

On whether we should help Ukraine: Decide right now if you want Russia to control all of Europe.

On Gaza and Israel: NO! Absolutely nothing will be gained by anyone or any side killing those on the other. This has gone far beyond butchery to massacre and decimation.

Actually on all dictators and strong men: Exterminating your opponents demonstrates only your weakness. Aren’t you “right” enough that your ideas will sell themselves?

On dictators and strong men ruling countries of multiple ethnicities and religions: See just above. And remember the Golden Rule. Every culture and religion are built on the same principle.

On judges—and all elected public officials: Ethical judges and justices and office holders don’t accept massive gifts from partisan donors. Or lie. Or harass or intimidate staff. You are supposed to be above reproach and never be “bought.”

To folks who would deport, imprison, scare, hurt, kill immigrants: First off, they are immigrants, not illegals. Then, there’s that Golden Rule. And why do you think YOU should be here if you don’t want THEM here. You and I are THEM.

More on the border: If we spent the money we’re pitching into crazy and cruel “non” solutions, we would be enjoying a well-educated and much needed group of new citizens and workers.

To all the anti-abortionists and those opposed to queer sex or unconventional marriages: Go back to the Golden Rule. Do you really want ME to tell you who to love or what medical procedures you should or shouldn’t have? (e.g. I don’t agree with you so NO, you shouldn’t get a new kidney.)

On banned books or movies or art: The most dangerous and suggestive book in any library is the Bible. I dare you.

On Montana’s withdrawal of 110,000 people from Medicaid eligibility: One more time there’s that New Testament lesson. And, just in case you haven’t considered the state’s pocketbook: those abandoned citizens will cost our rural hospitals and every emergency room far more. Or, is your real strategy to just kill Montanans?

On dumbing down required skills for professional positions—like librarians: So you’re willing to have your hip replaced by a kid with a bachelor’s in science and no medical school training. Or fight your court case using a winning high school debater who saw no need for law school. Good luck.

This essay is less tongue-in-cheek than you might think. I groan every time I see a fine editorial writer blather on for 2,000 words when they’ve made their point in the first 100. Mostly they are good at substantiating their arguments. Or seeking visibility with their superior knowledge. Or unable to resist a pun or a clever aside.

If once-upon-a-time we all read newspapers and journals cover to cover, that’s no longer true. If writers and speakers want to be considered, they must spit out their ideas–fast. Really that’s always been true. Life is busy. We’re multi-tasking. We’re muddled by all the commentators and diatribes.

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